Apr 18, 2011

Shut the fuck up!

On weekends the E train runs local. Usually it's the R. But on weekends it's the E. Of course I know this tiny fact about the New York City Subway system. I had to take a test for a job on a Saturday morning. The E train sidled into the station. A man with a bongo drum positioned himself at the car's farthest corner. Bom da bom da bom bom bom. The announcer came on: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." No one could hear. The man with the bongo drum kept bonging: bam da bam da bom bom bom. I could make out "service change" "F line" "No stops at blah blah blah blah" "Transfer" No one could hear and everyone wanted the bongo guy to stop banging his bongo drum. The announcer came on again and everyone strained to listen to the garbled, chopped up transmission. Bong da bong da bong bong. Finally a robust woman in front of me exploded. "Shut the fuck up," she said. To no one in particular. Her high decibel shrill did not deter the bongo player. "Shut the fuck up." The bongo dude continued to bongo. The woman folded her arms and steamed. "Queens Plaza. This E train is running on the F line! I repeat this Manhattan bound E train is running on the F line!"

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